Swell Memories by Dermot

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Life Cycles

Prologue

As a new surfer something kicks in that makes you want to surf forever. Keep in mind the beginner stage is not associated with age – just with skill. Stoke is blind to all; to age, race, creed, gender and national origin. The last essay covered the conscious decision we all make in regards to surfing. We want to surf forever (Surf Forever)but must somehow fit surfing into life’s other list of things that must be done. This essay is my perspective on what I believe to be the three separate stages surfers go through as they journey down that beach path called…life.

THE DARK YEARS

I believe we all go through a period in our surfing life called the Dark Years. For some these years may begin shortly after high school, for others it may begin later. Regardless of the age you started surfing, the chances are pretty good you are going to enter a period when a multitude of things pull at you and impact your surfing and commitment to surfing.

What makes us enter the Dark Years are a number of things. I believe the first sign of the Dark Years looming ahead is when you show up to your favorite spot and it’s not quite up to your standards so you turn around and go home. No, I’m not talking about completely flat or victory-at-sea conditions, but conditions that just don’t suit you. You know, it’s not quite glassy enough or big enough to suit your skills. You see the Dark Years begin because we become spoiled.

By the time most of us realize that surfing is in our blood we have probably sought and experienced great surf conditions. We’ve grown from riding two-foot mush to experiencing 4-6 foot glass. The better surf you experience the less inclined you are to paddle out into poorer conditions. Once you’ve become spoiled the less inclined you are to make the drive, wake up early, or go to the beach after work or school…nope, you’re not going to paddle out unless it’s perfect.

The surf has to be up to your standards. Soon, and ever so slowly, you spend less time doing something you love and more time doing other things. Certainly those other things may be critically important…but surfing, like love, has to be nurtured or it will be lost.

The time spent away from surfing leaves a gap to be filled by something else. Soon, over time, surfing becomes something you do occasionally. Less time in the water means you become less physically fit to surf. In addition to the overall loss of physical fitness, your timing and coordination is off. When you do catch a wave you don’t surf as well as you’re accustomed to so you become frustrated. And of course what adds to your frustration are the crowds. So you think to yourself – boy, surfing is not like it used to be; didn’t have as much fun as I used to have. So you leave the beach early and head home.

Because you now have to work at having fun – instead of just having fun – you begin to rationalize why you can’t go surfing. Couple this decreasing desire to surf in average to mediocre conditions with life’s natural requirements, you could very easily spiral down deep into the Dark Years.

For some the Dark Years may be just a few months, for others it may be just a year or many years. I also believe that East Coast surfers are more susceptible to this time period than West Coast surfers because the inconsistent nature of our surf adds another excuse as to why you shouldn’t go to the beach.

As stoked as I am about this magnificent obsession I had my own Dark Years.

Only recently, while thinking about my surfing past, did I recognize when I exited this stage. I can’t remember when it started - as I said it sneaks up on you. But I can remember when I began to exit the Dark Years.

Albeit the surf was somewhat choppy, it was shoulder high and I had not paddled out in some time and needed this surf session to reinvigorate me. The paddle out was extremely difficult; in fact it was exhaustive. By the time I made it outside my arms ached and I was winded. Still in my early 20’s, I was embarrassed as well as stunned by my lack of fitness.

I sat outside for about a 30 minutes before I caught my first wave – I wiped out.

Another struggle to paddle out, another wave, and another wipeout. I paddled in. I sat on the beach that morning and wondered what happened to me. I was never a hot surfer nor some super athlete, but I never had problems paddling out, catching waves, and holding my own with the other surfers either.

I sat there on the beach for almost 2 hours reflecting on what had happened - and was happening - to me. Knowing what had happened was easy to figure out. I had drifted away from my passion. Knowing why I drifted would take time to figure out. I did know if I stayed my current course I would eventually loose something I so dearly loved – I had to change course. I made a vow to myself some 26 years ago, which I have kept to this day, that no matter what career path I chose to take me through life - I would always surf, and I would always be prepared to surf. I left the beach that morning disappointed in myself. Disappointed I had neglected and taken for granted something I loved. I got home, put on some sneakers, and went running. I didn’t know it then, but for me I was emerging from the Dark Years.

CAREER TIME

OK, you’re stoked, you’ve got surfing in the right perspective, you’ve managed to either avoid or get through the Dark Years – so what’s next?

The next phase is simple. But you must be absolutely honest with yourself and others. If you love this sport and are as stoked as you think you are - work and career decisions will be easy.

For example, a friend of mine with whom I surfed with in California had a career decision to make. He is a highly paid sales executive and before being hired by his current employer he told them he would take the job as long as it didn’t entail leaving Southern California. He’s a super stoked, middle aged, successful businessman who won’t give up his passion. He knows who he is and what he wants.

Another example is when I was traveling to San Diego on a work related trip. Into the shuttle vehicle that takes you from the airport to the rental car place steps a young man in a business suit with his luggage and board bag. Naturally we struck up a conversation. He had received a graduate degree from a prestigious university in the Northeast. After graduation he worked there for a year and, when time permitted, made a valiant effort trying to surf nearby breaks.

He couldn’t take it any longer. He knew who he was – a well educated person AND a surfer. He had to mix them both. He knew his life would not be in balance unless he did both. He was returning home to San Diego to find a job and get his life back in balance. Despite the public perception of surfers, most (if not all) surfers I know want a decent job and want to make a decent living. Unfortunately (and sadly) we are sometimes faced with decisions that are mind bending.

Do I move somewhere far away from the beach, advance my career, or stay here and have my family miss opportunities they might not otherwise have? I certainly can’t answer that for you, but I can offer this. If your focus is to SURF FOREVER, and occasional periods away from the beach will benefit you and your family while at the same time eventually leading to a higher quality of life at some coastal community - then the time away from the ocean might be worth it. Even with that stated, it still boils down to being honest with yourself and others. As I did, take the two hours on the beach, sit down and think about what makes you happy. If surfing is big parts of that happiness…don’t worry…the decisions will come easy.

SUPER STOKE

Only within the past few years have I entered what I believe to be the last and final stages of surfing’s Life Cycles. I call this one Super Stoke. I’m more stoked now than I’ve ever been. I’ve made those career choices that have allowed me to surf and live a comfortable life. Let there be no mistake, in my own life and career I have had to on occasion spend time away from the ocean and surfing but the subsequent opportunities allowed me to surf even more. My own family knows how important surfing is to me. My bride married a surfer 24 years ago and she’s still married to the same surfer today. I’ve paddled out with surfers who are my age and older and who are stoked as can be. They have battled life’s challenges only to find comfort in the ocean.

I have found the bond and camaraderie among “older” surfers to be genuine and concrete. No one cares about “ripping and shredding” just paddling out, catching waves, telling some lies about some waves past and drinking a cup of coffee together when there aren’t any waves. I don’t surf near as much as I need - much less want to. Nevertheless, every time I paddle out, I paddle out with a big smile on my face. For me, surfing has been the one constant in a changing life and a volatile world. Surfing is like an old and true friend who will forgive you for time spent away but will always welcome you back no matter what. I can’t wait till I paddle out into the arms of that old friend again!

Epilogue

I’d like to thank those many readers who e-mailed me regarding these past series of essays regarding surfing’s Life Cycles. I hope in some small way I have helped some of you come to some conclusions, make some choices, plan a future, or balance your love for the ocean with a job or career.

Regardless, keep surfing.

~~~Dermot

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